by yazmin (a.k.a Miss Quirkyhearts)

It started with the stores’ immediate post-holiday, full-swing, Valentine’s-Day mode. I thought about writing cheeky comments about the joys of being single, even while realising this was bravado. Facing another one of those miserable days alone!

So, I began the research.



A few keystrokes revealed what I always suspected: there are millions—yes, 45 million—hits on “being single”. My heart leapt, yes! There are many others out there like me and my “Sex in the City” sisters. Not just a few of us—plenty! I was delighted. The sheer ‘numbers alone’ surely proved that we can’t all be losers, right?

Then I made the mistake of digging deeper. Many of those hits had the expected
this-is-what’s-so-great-about-being-single lists: “I can do whatever I darn well please, whenever I want to” and “The toilet seat. Need I say more?” and my personal favourite, “You don’t have to stroke his fragile male ego, among other things.” (But isn’t that an advantage of coupledom?) The sites were also heavily sprinkled with “Singlehood—what to do now” bids accompanied by reams of boring, bad advice. Some painfully honest soul even averred that, “At its heart, though, [singledom] is a soulless, empty existence. The point of life is to give of yourself...”



Yikes.



Panic nibbled at me. I decided to refine my search with an optimistic “joy of being single”. Only three-point-five million hits! Hmm...a far cry from 45 mil but, hey, still better than being >alone< alone—yes?



And then I saw it—at the top of the list: “The Quirkyalones.” Never heard of it? Me neither, and not surprisingly—”Quirkyalone” brought up a paltry 55 thousand hits. A mere ripple in the big pond. Our friends at Wiki clarified the term “Quirkyalone” and its origins.



“Quirkyalone” refers to someone who enjoys being single (but
is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone
rather than dating for the sake of being in a couple. It was coined by To-Do
List magazine publisher Sasha Cagen, who wrote a magazine article in Utne Reader
in 2000 and a book Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics.



Sasha’s words: “We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. We inhabit singledom as our natural resting state. In a world where marriage and proms
define the social order, we are, by force of our personalities and inner strength, rebels.



“Yet make no mistake: We are no less concerned with coupling than your average
serial monogamist. Secretly, we are romantics, romantics of the highest order.
We want a miracle. Out of millions we have to find the one who will understand.


“For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. On a fine but by no means transcendent date we dream of going home to watch television. We would prefer to be alone with our own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit. We are almost constitutionally incapable of casual relationships.”



Surprise! International Quirkyalone Day is February 14, chosen as an alternative to “the marketing barrage” of Valentine’s Day. It started in 2003 as a “celebration of romance, freedom and individuality”.



My people, at last! I breathed a sigh of relief. “Romantics of the highest order.” That would be me. Quirkyalone in our searching, we have refined the art of knowing what will or won’t work to a science.


So, when that moment comes when you bump into that miracle quirkyalone in a crowded grocery, or find yourself stranded on a tropical island with that someone, you’ll know immediately that this is a “romance of the highest order.”



Are You A Quirkyalone?
Online quiz

Always wondered why you like to be by yourself and why the opposite gender just
scarcely interests you anymore? Answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following questions to
see how quirkyalone you are.

1) You have a talent for self-reflection.

2) You're excited about a successful, interesting life with or without a mate.

3) You create and maintain chosen clusters of friends.

4) You see life as a big choose-your-own-adventure.

5) You support the idea of dating but not necessarily for sex.

6) You prefer solitude to any relationship where you must restrain an essential
part of yourself.

7) You have a compulsion to leave a mark on culture or society, to express yourself either through art, business, literature, or even social activism.

8) You think the ways society dictates happiness, primarily through romantic
love, is a human failing.

9) You have had a taste or glimpse of a great relationship, which intensified your desire for a similar experience.

10) Your talent to deconstruct love songs is equal only to your vulnerability to them.

Answers:

0 to 3 "Yes" responses: Sorry, but you're not a quirkyalone. You should sign up
with an Internet dating service right now and dig out all the singles in your area.

4 to 6 "Yes" responses: You are a borderline quirkyalone. This means that you
may still want to live with another almost quirkyalone as a quirkyalone
couple, or might just want to sleep in your own room while your significant other
sleeps in his/her own room.

7 to 10 "Yes" responses: You are definitely a quirkyalone. Instead of romancing
another person, you will spend your life romancing life for all it's worth. Along with a growing segment of society committed to remaining single, you now can refer to everyone like yourself with a single word: quirkyalone!